Why can't I relax even on vacation?
Direct answerNot being able to relax on vacation often happens because your body has gotten used to being on alert, because work is still reachable on your phone and because you expect the vacation to be perfect. Truly disconnecting and accepting that the first few days are for winding down helps rest kick in.
How it shows up
You bring your laptop, check email, plan every minute and come back as tired as when you left.
Most likely root causes
- Alertness as your defaultAfter months at an intense pace, your body takes time to let its guard down.
- Work within reachChecking messages keeps your mind on the clock.
- High expectationsThe pressure to make the most of it becomes one more task.
- Loose ends at workLeaving without wrapping things up keeps worries open.
Quick self-check
- Do you check work email on vacation?
- Do you tie up loose ends before you leave?
- Do you plan every moment of the trip?
- Do you come back from vacation still tired?
If you answered yes to two or more, start with that cause.
First step today
Even before your next vacation, practice one hour today fully disconnected from work, with notifications turned off.
30-day plan
- Week 1: Practice short disconnected periods during the week and on the weekend.
- Weeks 2 and 3: Before your vacation, make a list of open items, decide who will cover for you and set up an out-of-office reply.
- Week 4: On vacation, leave unplanned free time and remove work apps from your phone; when you get back, assess the result.
When to seek professional help
See a psychologist if you haven't been able to relax in any situation for a long time, or if it comes with insomnia, irritability, constant physical tension or burnout for more than two weeks. If you are in intense distress, contact a local crisis line or emergency services.
Frequently asked questions
- Does it take time to relax on vacation?
- For many people, yes. The first few days are usually for winding down.
- Do short vacations work?
- Short, regular breaks also help, especially if you truly disconnect.