I don't have a network. How do I build professional connections?
Direct answerA lack of networking usually comes from associating it with self-interest, reaching out only when you need something, and not knowing how to start a conversation. A network is made of relationships kept up over time. The first step is to reconnect with someone you already know, without asking for anything, just showing genuine interest.
How it shows up
You see other people landing jobs through referrals and feel like you don't know anyone. Asking for help feels awkward.
Most likely root causes
- Seeing networking as self-servingYou think networking means using people, so you avoid it and lose natural relationships.
- Reaching out only when in needRemembering people only when you need a job makes the ask uncomfortable.
- Dormant networkYou know more people than you think, but those contacts have been inactive for years.
- Not knowing what you can offerYou don't know what you bring to the table, so you don't feel comfortable reaching out.
Quick self-check
- Have you talked to anyone outside your job in the last month?
- Do you reach out to people only when you need something?
- Could you list twenty people who know you professionally?
- Have you helped anyone in your network recently?
If you answered yes to two or more, start with that cause.
First step today
Today, send a short, sincere message to a former coworker asking how they're doing and mentioning something that reminds you of them.
30-day plan
- Week 1: list people you already know and reconnect with a few, without asking for anything.
- Weeks 2 and 3: set up two short conversations with people in your field to learn about their work, and join a professional event or group.
- Week 4: create a light routine, like one contact a week, and share something useful with the people you talked to.
When to seek professional help
Look for a mentor or career coach if shyness or discomfort about approaching people keeps you from starting, or if you're switching fields and don't know where the right people are.
Frequently asked questions
- Is networking only for extroverts?
- No. One-on-one conversations and relationships built at a calm pace work very well for introverts.
- How do I ask for a referral without making it awkward?
- Ask once you have a relationship, be specific about the role, and make it clear the person can say no.